Stuck in Game One with Bruce
Editor’s Note: We have a special guest entry today from Colton Abrams whose Lobstercon journey crossed paths with many members of the NYC community! Enjoy.
The year is 2007 and there is a kid playing in an Extended PTQ. He flashbacked a Cabal Therapy last turn to grab his opponent’s two Pernicious Deeds he had in hand. His opponent has only one unknown card in hand and 3 lands in play. The kid has lethal on board if he Fatal Frenzies his Myr Enforcer after sacrificing everything to an Arcbound Ravager. He is visibly doing a lot of math, and the opponent says, “what, you got a Frenzy and I’m dead?” The kid looks up from the board state, smiles, nods, and attacks. His opponent Putrefies his Enforcer, plays an Eternal Witness, and handily wins the game.
“Why did you go for it there?” the opponent says.
“I don’t know, it was lethal, you had to have exactly Putrefy, I made sure to do it on the Enforcer to play around…”
“Yeah, yeah, but why didn’t you just wait?”
“Look, it was lethal…”
“You could have had the game, but you gave me an out. You played to end the game, not to win.” The kid, as you probably guessed, was me, and my opponent was John F. Rizzo. “Have I ever told you about Bruce?”
When I arrived at Lobstercon this year, I was HUNGRY. I hadn’t had breakfast, and wasn’t planning on having lunch. I have found that fasting during tournaments helps keep me sharp, level, and HUNGRY. I have been looking forward to this event since last year, and I knew in my bones that I was going to make Top 8. I was playing Sam Black's UWg Tax Rack deck, and I felt the deck was unbeatable, and I would be proven right, and wrong at the same time. My friend has been saying all week that I will find a way to 0-0-8, and all week I have said “I won’t let that happen.”
Round 1: I get paired up against Mano of All Tings Considered, he is on the Draco Blast Tax deck of Matt Harper’s design. Game 1 I assemble the Land Tax + Scroll Rack combo early and gain enough life to stay out of Erratic Explosion range and use Swords to Plowshares and counter magic to control his threats. Game 2, Mano, after playing tight all game, plays an unnecessary land, allowing me to activate Tax, recognizes the mistake too late, and I am able to ride an Ivory Tower well out of Erratic Explosion range. My friend walks up and says, “Okay, fine, 1-0-7”.
Round 2: I am up against Albert I. on Mono Blue Dreadnought. I am able to get under his Gushes and Dazes with Undiscovered Paradise and Mox Diamond and Tax every turn. He never gets to attack with a Dreadnought in Game 1, and isn’t able to resolve one Game 2, thanks to Meddling Mage out of the board. My friend who watches the end of the match says over my shoulder “Okay, 2-0-6 then”.
Round 3: Roland Chang sits across from me and casts a turn one Portent. I guess that he is on Dreadnaught of some variety, and execute the same plan as last round of not letting him deny my Tax with Gush and Daze. Our games go about the same as last round. “I think a solid 3-0-5 is still possible.”
Now, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the concept of "Bruce" and did not take the time to read the article at the beginning, let me give you the gist of it. John Rizzo describes Bruce as a person who needs to lose. A person who puts themselves in risky situations and always seems to come out worse on the other side. Rizzo also states that we all have a Bruce on our shoulders, egging us on to take a line that has risk for no reason, to keep a sketchy hand because it COULD work out. We have all had a run in with Bruce, and here is where my Bruce decided to make an entrance.
Round 4: “Flint E. and Colton A. to the feature match area.” We all know the exploits and prowess displayed by Flint at this point, and I was enraptured by everything he was doing. I told him, as we were shuffling up, that I knew what he was on, and I approved. I say to him, “In the spirit of fairness and competition, I am on Parfait.” He thanks me for the information and we head into a grueling Game 1. He tries resolving a Fluctuator on Turn 2, I counter it. He then proceeds to start churning out dorks every turn, and I start Swordsing and digging for Humility, Ivory Tower, Spontaneous Generation, anything to help with the density of threats he has. I eventually cleaned up the board and beat down with Saprolings. Game 2, feeling confident, I elect not to bring in my Tormod’s Crypt, as I felt that Phyrexian Furnace would be better, as there is no way he would be resolving a Fluctuator with 4 Meddling Mages and 4 Annuls coming in. I was listening to my Bruce. Game 2, I get blown out by Misdirection on my Foil for his Turn 2 Fluctuator, I die. Game 3, I bring in the Tormod's Crypt that should have been there. I keep a hand of Crypt, Turn 2 Mage, and Foil. Flint casts the Fluctuator, I Foil, he Misdirections, and we go to time. I ask if he thinks he can win, he says yes, and I believe him, so we elect for a draw and I wish him luck in the rest. My friend comes up, “well, I don’t know how you drew with Fluctuator, but I’ll take it.”
Round 5: Jeff F. applies so much pressure with Nimble Mongooses that I am forced to cast a Gaea’s Blessing on his graveyard to stem the bleeding until I can find an Ivory Tower or an opening to play a Humility. Jeff plays more Mongooses and I am unable to cast the Humility or I’m dead to his Treetop Village on board, so I cast another Blessing targeting his graveyard, and I Swords his Treetop when he goes to attack. He plays another Treetop and passes. I gain life off of an Ivory Tower and stare at my hand and tank. I know that I have my last Blessing in my hand, and I have a Humility. If I play the Humility, I die to a Naturalize or Ray of Revelation. I am so afraid of his hand, as he has not used all his mana for several turns, that I think he must be sandbagging one, not realizing, that if he had one, he would have pointed it at my Land Tax or Scroll Rack in play and I was just looking for a reason to not tap out. As I go to cast Humility, I look at the Blessing and my Bruce starts chirping. I cast my last Blessing, targeting 3 of my Swords to Plowshares, draw a card, and lock myself out of having inevitability in the game. Game 1 continues, I am gaining life off Tower and Jeff is beating me down with creatures, we go to time. I tell Jeff that I won’t deck, and I will not cast anymore cards, and will use my multiple Racks and Taxes to gain around 6 life a turn and not deck myself. Jeff informs me that if he sees his Nantuko Monastery in the next 4-5 cards, he would be dealing more damage than I would be gaining and could win before he decks out. We agree that the game is not decisive and we draw. “Wait, that was Game 1!” my friend exclaims, and I am now 3-0-2.
Round 6: Bumping fists with Phil Nguyen, I thank him for all the work he puts into the Banding newsletter. His Red Deck Nguyen’s deck can’t keep up with the Tax Rack engine and I win Game 1. Game 2 I assemble the engine again and get to play a Swords on his Shard Phoenix while he is attacking with a Mishra's Factory and Ghitu Encampment trying to race my Ivory Tower forcing him to either blow up two of his own lands or lose the Phoenix which is likely his best way of closing the game, as its resilient to infinite Swords to Plowshares. We go to time after a lot of back and forth and before he can get enough lands to Urza’s Rage me to death.
Round 7: I think I am in a mirror match against David T., but then after I counter David’s second Gaea’s Blessing, he concedes and we go to Game 2. I remember that Marc Eric Vogt, won the Czech Championship with a Blue Oath Parfait list that only ran 2 Blessings, and that was likely why David conceded when he did. Recalibrating my expectation for Game 2, I realize that Sam’s list should be heavily favored and a weight falls off my shoulders. We start playing Game 2, our boards and hands are about parity, but David says that he has had enough of piloting his deck, and concedes the match before we go to time.
Round 8: Being 5-0-2, I was not able to draw into T8. I get paired against Lanny Huang of the Spike Colony podcast, who I know is on Oath Parfait. I have a clear goal for this match. I know that we will not finish this round in time, it is just not possible, unless one of us concedes a game, or two. I know that if this is the case, I have to win Game 1, and because I have counter magic, less dead cards, and Gush that I will see more relevant spells than Lanny, and I just need to choke him on resources. I know the gamestate I need before we draw our opening hands: We will fight over Mox Diamonds, as neither of us can afford to give the other a Land Tax trigger. I will need to protect my Phyrexian Furnace and exile all of Lanny’s Blessings and Moxen, and counter his Tormod’s Crypt; win the game.
We both have a Turn 1 Tax and start playing our Moxen. I burn Enlightened Tutor on finding a Mox as right now, that is all that matters. I counter a couple of Lanny’s Moxen, find a Furnace, and start chewing on his graveyard. I slowly, and methodically, Seal of Cleansing, Blessing, Sealing of Cleansing away his last Moxen. All that is left is to recycle my Seal again and destroy Lanny’s Zuran Orb, locking him out of being able to play around my Land Tax, allowing me to draw through my entire deck each turn, and destroy his few remaining permanents. I feel like I can’t lose, and then I look up and see the time. I realize that I am not going to be able to win in time. I need to cast a Spontaneous Generation soon or I won’t be able to take down Lanny’s high life total thanks to Ivory Tower. I panic, and my Bruce tells me that I need the game to be over, that I need to win, I need to go for it. I find myself back in the chair across from Rizzo. I cast a Blessing and target my Seal and some counter magic, instead of the Seal and my other Blessing and a Counter Spell, but my Bruce wants more. I find my Seal, and I destroy the Oath of Druids, after all, that is the card stopping me from winning the game, right? My Bruce is breathing down my neck. I cast Spontaneous Generation for 6. Lanny casts Enlightened Tutor. I know that he means to get his Tormod’s Crypt, but I have a Foil in hand, so I let him resolve the Tutor. Lanny plays the One-Two Punch of Duress into Tormod’s Crypt and locks my deck out for the rest of the game. Lanny also knew how this match needed to go, and had been crafting this play for the past 30 turns. Now, Lanny can potentially resolve more threats than I have answers left in my deck and the outlook on the game is murky. We draw, shake hands, and my Bruce pats me on the back.
For the next 12 hours, I would be convinced that I was cheated out of my T8 finish of Lobstercon. I would say that my opponents should have conceded to me, I would say that I had no choice, I had to make the decisions I made, I was protecting my Bruce and the decisions we made together. I drew three times at Lobstercon, because I took action without thought. I drew three times at Lobstercon, because I succumbed to my Bruce. If you asked me why I allowed myself to run out of Blessings, not once, but TWICE in the event, I would tell you that I don’t know. I would know, but it would seem silly for the player who went to time in Game 1, twice, to say, “I did it because I needed the game to be over.”
“So, did you get what you asked for?” Rizzo says to me.
“I guess it did end the game.” I say, sighing with frustration.
“It sure did. Next time, ask yourself why you want to make a play, instead of another. If you can’t answer that, it’s probably because you were about to do something stupid.”
The card Land Tax is a card that all our Bruce’s love. Land Tax asks both players, every turn, “Do you want this game to be over?” There is an ideology that one of the best things you can do in Magic is to ask questions. It’s probably the same philosophy that William Hirst subscribes to as well. And if you could play with a card that asks that question Every. Single. Turn. for an entire game, why wouldn’t you want to play it? Land Tax allows both players so much room to make the wrong decision, that most games involving the card are never played perfectly. Look at my first round match against Mano; he held onto his land drop for several turns knowing that he couldn’t let me trigger Land Tax, and then he forgets why he was holding the land and played it out, unlocking my Land Tax a lot sooner, and closing the door on his potential victory.
People who choose to play Land Tax, and cards like it, are willing to weather the storm of their Bruce’s intrusive thoughts and flashy plays, or at least try to. I don’t think the card was too powerful, but I do think it required both players to have an iron will, a clear game plan, and the endurance needed to go 20 turns without playing a single land. Maybe that alone is a reason to ban the card, I don’t know, but what I do know is that I find myself still playing through one of the greatest games I never finished.